My Aunt Flo would be proud.

I'm starting a new category of posts: things that sound like menstrual euphemisms, could be menstrual euphemisms, but aren't menstrual euphemisms...yet.

Yep - things that are not menstrual but could be - nay should be.

First up: Flora The Red Menace.

This was a 60s musical starring Liza Minelli. It's about communism, predictably, and, more surprisingly, fashion design.

But to misquote HBO's favorite 80s rerun, Clue, communism's just a red herring these days. I doubt this play will have revivals as successful as its sibling creations, Cabaret and Chicago. That's why I suggest that we give it its own special revival.

Now, I'm obviously not condoning euphemism for period-shame-related cover ups, but I have no problem with nicknaming my period. (Party Weirdo's Cara gave her period a stage name, after all.)

I nickname all my friends. Most of them don't mind. Imagine this exchange:

Nicknamed Friend of Chella (who doesn't mind): Hey Chella, what's up?

Chella: I'm totally chilling with Flora the Red Menace today, man!

Yeah...that works for me.

Send in your not-menstrual-but-should-be suggestions.

Chella

Cork: city of dreams and menstrual comedy.

Should you happen to be in Cork, Ireland this weekend, here are our Ladyfest gig and workshop details:

Funny Period - random comedy bits from us: Friday at midnight at Cyprus Avenue above the Old Oak on Caroline St. Queen Kong are on just after us, and I promise not to be the catalyst for an international incident involving ski pants again. (Sorry, Dave.)

Saturday we are doing 2 workshops in the Lee Room of the Victoria hotel:
1 - 3 pm is Bloody Brilliant - menstrual musings, comedy and activities
5:30 - 7:30 is the impro(v) comedy workshop - we wanted to call it Whose Cunt is it Anyway? but it's just listed as an impro(v) workshop.

If I can swing it, I'm hoping to screen my short film, The Fuck You Story, sometime Saturday evening.

And Saturday night, also at the Cyprus, we're following Party Weirdo who are on at 9 pm. We're doing 9:35 til 10:05 and it's gonna be our usual shtick plus some new bits and any impro we try out with some new impro peeps, we hope.

Then after that it's our Hag night! If you're in Cork, please join us!

If you're in Sheffield, I can recommend the Fem08 conference, afterparty hosted by Lola and the Cartwheels.

If you're in Stratford, please attend Shakespeare's birthday party for me.

If you're in London, be our proxies at the London Zine Symposium. This is my first time missing it and I'm gutted. Big up to Nat and Edd for organising this every year, and cheers to Eran for making all the previous ones tons of fun.

If you're anywhere else, I hope you, too, have a lovely weekend. In fact, I'd like to know what you get up to!

Chella

Writing lines...

I will not adhere to a self-imposed media blackout.
I will not adhere to a self-imposed media blackout.
I will not adhere to a self-imposed media blackout.
I will not adhere to a self-imposed media blackout.
I will not adhere to a self-imposed media blackout.

You'd think I'd be good enough at multi-tasking to maintain a blog, check my myspace, return emails and lead a fairly ordinary life, right?

Luckily, I managed to remember various user names and passwords, looked at the old myspace, and discovered Party Weirdo were playing about 2 miles away from us tonight, about ten minutes before the doors opened. So we scarfed down spaghetti, got dressed, and dashed out of the house. We got there about five minutes before the first band, which was a hilarious guy who did covers using a music program on an old nintendo gameboy. It was one up from circuit bending and we were totally hooked. He'll be on our myspace soon.

The Weirdos rocked the house as usual, to a pretty hefty crowd, and Em did mad things with her pointy-fingered dancing. It was the first time we actually saw Chart Your Cycle the song, as we'd been backstage last time waiting for our cue. Hopefully they'll post some photos somewhere soon (I was stunt photographer). And I would have missed the whole thing if I'd kept avoiding the internet.

I'm in New York next week, I should mention, which is one of the perks of having not quit my day job. If you're around, give me a shout.

Chella

Chart Your Cycle-The Song...Release Party!

Well. It was the best of times, it was etc.

Due to both slow passport processing and a demanding day job, I couldn't even think about getting to Dublin tonight, but loads of others did and I'm so psyched! The song written for us by Party Weirdo has been released by Stitchy Press and tonight was the launch.

Please support Party Weirdo and get your hands on a copy in 7 inch vinyl or cdr.

And stay tuned - we are going to make it over to Dublin next month and hope to pick up some to distribute with the zine.

So - well done and thanks to Party Weirdo for the props! Good on ya to Siobhan at Magical Girl and Willie and Natalia of Stitchy Press.

How does it feel to be immortalised in song?

Kinda like how Mulder and Scully would have felt, I reckon, if they hadn’t actually been fictional characters. Party Weirdo also performed at Ladyfest Berlin last summer. They played crazy good tunes – unpredictable, manic, and yet I enjoyed it…kinda like how I feel about menstruation.

So I contacted them about using one of their songs in a podcast I was planning. Cara, the guitarist in the band, said she’d do one better and write us a musical tribute. A few months later I got an email with the song link, and the day after that it was on the band’s myspace, which can be found here: http://www.myspace.com/partyweirdomusic.

Here are the lyrics:

CHART YOUR CYCLE
ADVENTURES WHEN YOU'RE MENSTRUATING
I FORGOT IT'S ONE OF A KIND
THE KIND I'LL FIND IS ALWAYS ON MY MIND

CHART YOUR CYCLE
MORE ADVENTURES MENSTRUATING
JEMILLA SHEMILLA
PROTECT YOUR WOMB, YOUR WALLS AND ALL INSIDE

CHART YOUR CYCLE
FEEL FREE TO DISCUSS AT ANY TIME
MENSTRUATING
LOVE IT HATE IT CRAMP IT ALL YOU WANT

The lyrics are one thing and the music is something else entirely – I really dig the sound and there’s loads of instrumental experimental grooviness. My favourite part is the end of the song, where you hear a little magical chime. Please listen to it if you can (if you’ve overcome your fear of the borg that is myspace), and show some love for this wicked band.

Oh yeah - I asked Cara who Jemilla Shemilla was.

She said it was her period’s stage name.

Awesome.